Computer Comedian Gifts

'Tech support...I'd like to report a farmer in the dell!'

Dinosaur types 'large cities near me'

"My computer has a virus. I'm calling in sick."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

Screen Time vs Book Time

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Terry had a computer bug.

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

Hardware and software

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

Chef copy robot

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"I just tweeted a chirp."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

'It's a snow mobile.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.