Coding Comedian Gifts

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Hardware and software

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

How are we supposed to tweet in 140 characters when all we can use are zeroes and ones!?

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

'Turns out it's hacker talk for 'software exchange'.'

'Honey, tell me honestly - Does this operating system make me look Big-Endian?'

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

Terry had a computer bug.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

"I just tweeted a chirp."

Nethead strip: Speak binary

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

To begin, click on the bread crumb icon.

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

Jim's Smart Kettle

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

Religion and technology.

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"I thought about having children, until I found out they take nine months to download."

'What's the point? We're never going to be able to compete with online piracy.'

'Before you say anything, just let me change my Facebook status to ‘it's complicated'.'

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'