Coding Comedian T-Shirts

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Hardware and software

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

'Turns out it's hacker talk for 'software exchange'.'

'Honey, tell me honestly - Does this operating system make me look Big-Endian?'

Terry had a computer bug.

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

Nethead strip: Speak binary

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

Religion and technology.

Jim's Smart Kettle

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

'Great Moment #200 in Computing: Columbus discovers the COBOL Islands.'

'What's the point? We're never going to be able to compete with online piracy.'

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

'Before you say anything, just let me change my Facebook status to ‘it's complicated'.'

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

"I thought about having children, until I found out they take nine months to download."

"I forgot my password, so I created a new one. Then, I forgot that one, so I created a new one. Maybe you were right. I should write them down."