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Zombie standup

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'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Terry had a computer bug.

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

Hardware and software

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Aw, geez, is my fly down again? Why Superman started wearing his underwear over his pants.

'If you don't like the way I program, just say so!'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

America's funniest election gaffes

Note Book

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'It looks like our data.'

Soldiers' Ego

Nethead strip: Speak binary

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

"I just tweeted a chirp."

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

Open Source.

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

Uncle Sam admires lipstick marks on his butt.

I hear you're sending Rudy to a clandestine meeting with Russian agents for the purpose of coordinating the blackmailing of the American president. What?! I am not! What ever gave you such an outlandish idea? I overheard Rudy asking Siri "How do I say 'hello' in Russian?" That proves nothing. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'my boss wants your boss to blackmail our president' in Russian?" That could mean anything. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'that means exactly what it sounds like it means

Yep, I started out as a dog groomer.

Clive Anderson