Comedy Composer T-Shirts

Note Book

Zombie standup

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"The Just Me Band"

Aw, geez, is my fly down again? Why Superman started wearing his underwear over his pants.

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

America's funniest election gaffes

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Zappo's Air Guitars.

Soldiers' Ego

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

An amplified harp

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

Musical Pipe

I hear you're sending Rudy to a clandestine meeting with Russian agents for the purpose of coordinating the blackmailing of the American president. What?! I am not! What ever gave you such an outlandish idea? I overheard Rudy asking Siri "How do I say 'hello' in Russian?" That proves nothing. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'my boss wants your boss to blackmail our president' in Russian?" That could mean anything. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'that means exactly what it sounds like it means

'We have lost the video and voice audio, but will continue with the laugh track.'

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

Yep, I started out as a dog groomer.

'...Nadine Dorries has sent you a present from Australia. She said as soon as she saw it she thought of you!'

Clive Anderson

Three people playing on the same flute.

A family choir