Comedic Songwriter T-Shirts

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Candid Camera store.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'Let's call him lucky!'

Note Book

Thumbing a Lift.

Man walking a long dog on a fishing rod.

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

Old Joe was determined to reach the summit as he'd left his false teeth up there last week!

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

'This is okay, but my ambition is to be an automatic teller.'

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess