Comedic Filmmaker T-Shirts

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

Note Book

Double Saxophone

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

Old Joe was determined to reach the summit as he'd left his false teeth up there last week!

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

'This is okay, but my ambition is to be an automatic teller.'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

"The last doggy bag."

Footballer playing for time

Jumble Sale

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'These, you realize, are just the high points....'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

Furniture from hell.

'When we get back this trip is going to need some embroidering.'

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

'Got something! That baby's at least ten pounds. Can't wait to see it surface.'

'Please hold your applause until I've read all ten.'

"You lick, I'll dry."

'Some people never learn, do they? The guy I saved today I've saved twice already!'

"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"