Cyber Comedian Gifts

'True, we don't give out personal information, but every once in a while, the computer takes it upon itself to spill the beans.'

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

'Excuse me sir, which way to the internet?'

He had such faith in social networking.

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Virus moves to mobile phones.

'I forward email jokes - therefore I am.'

"I forgot my password, so I created a new one. Then, I forgot that one, so I created a new one. Maybe you were right. I should write them down."

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

"I think there's something wrong with the computer."

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

"I didn't copy off Johnny's test paper. I got all I needed by hacking his phone!"

"I just tweeted a chirp."

'What's the point? We're never going to be able to compete with online piracy.'

'I'll bet you pressed ENTER, didn't you?'

'Back in half an hour - make sure the firewall doesn't go out'

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

This file has a little cold.

Hi-Tech warning.

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

You need to install a firewall. The smoke alarm isn't helping.

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Did you get my tweet?"

Terry had a computer bug.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

Hardware and software

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"She looks just like in your photos."

Aladdin conjures up a virtual genie.

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Twitter that!