Cyber Humorist Gifts

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

"Welcome to the team, Mr Ware. What did you say your first name was?"

'I've found that I can get away with posting nasty comments if I end them with a 'wink' emoticon.'

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

"Your name is 123456. That's the reason they use my name instead of yours for their password."

Digital Doctor.

"Remember when hacking involved hairballs?"

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

'Enjoy yourself...take time to smell the plastic flowers.'

'You have just p***ed off a major world superpower. Continue? Y/N.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'I typed in a nasty message about Bill Gates, and the whole thing froze up on me!'

www.hopeless-assassin.com. Hits 0.

You can't take it with you. There's no cloud storage.

I'm not saying he's dumb, but talking to him is like talking to a firewall.

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

"OMG, LOL!"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

Terry had a computer bug.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

Hardware and software

Chasebook

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

"She looks just like in your photos."

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C