Cyber-savvy Humorist Gifts

'When you've found some change for the gas meter have a look a this email you got from some bloke in Africa asking you to safeguard 13 million dollars...'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Did you get my tweet?"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Terry had a computer bug.

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

Hardware and software

'My dog ate my computer.'

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

"She looks just like in your photos."

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Twitter that!

I've always been slower than computers...

Advertising on the internet.

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Facebook For Dogs.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."