Tech-challenged Humorist Gifts

'Take my advice - Never try to rip up e-mails!'

'How do I watch telly on this?'

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Screen Time vs Book Time

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

Chef copy robot

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

I've always been slower than computers...

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

'It's a snow mobile.'

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."