Internet Culture Humorist Gifts

"I don't want your money, I want you to be my friend on facebook!"

Lance, what does "NSFW" stand for? "Not Safe For Work." It means that if I open this filthy e-mail at work and my boss is looking over my shoulder, I'll get fired, bit if I open it at home and the wolverine is looking over my shoulder, I'm fine.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

'Yes, all at once!'

"Did you get my tweet?"

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"OMG, LOL!"

Terry had a computer bug.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'My dog ate my computer.'

Hardware and software

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"She looks just like in your photos."

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

Chasebook

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

The Smartass Phone

Twitter that!

Advertising on the internet.

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.