Digital Comedians Gifts

Giggle.

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"OMG, LOL!"

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

Aladdin conjures up a virtual genie.

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

The Smartass Phone

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

'for more obit info, go to...'

The Escape Key

Terms and conditions

"I just tweeted a chirp."

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

'Do you mind if I share your post on my wall?'

"It works as long as the teacher doesn't call on you."

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

"After she ran that clip of me getting a bath,... I posted this one of her stepping out of the shower."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Am I on your good Facebook friend list, or on your bad Facebook friend list?'

Google signwriter.

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."