Homeschool Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"I don't think we can approve you for homeschooling your child based on the fact that you signed your application with an 'X'."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'What are you in for?'

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

Party Schools...

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"