Homeschool Humorist Gifts

"Hi, Jenny, my parents just raised my home school tuition!"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Yard Sale

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."