Preparedness Planner Gifts

Saving up for a rainy day.

'I always carry my hammer, incase we're shipwrecked, and I need it to crack coconuts.'

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Emergency Phone.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Emergency exit into Space

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Prepper Dog

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

Small Government Is Here

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

"My God, now what?"

Emergency Underpants

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Protection for the world

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

Office of Strategic Scenarios: 'Best case...Worst case.'

D.I.Y ladder

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.