Safety Planner Gifts

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'I'm taking no chances.'

"Would you care to hear about our special escape routes."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"We only got six days of funding."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

Tsunami Evac Route

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

Father Time Management

Bad Office Planning

Clear construction agreements are important.

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."