Programming Planner Gifts

OK, great! So, we re-brand Crackerjack for a new generation and call it 'The C Word'.

"We only got six days of funding."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

God's Subcontractors

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

Waiting for retirement.

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"I'd love to sit down and discuss my project with you some time. Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

The Best Laid Plans

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Bad Office Planning

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

Father Time Management

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'