Plot Planner Gifts

Finally - a software package that makes it snap to write that novel.

'Have you lost the plot?'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"We only got six days of funding."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

Andre Gide.

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

Bad Office Planning

Joyce Carol Oates

Father Time Management

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

Clear construction agreements are important.

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

'The only thing that made sense was the violence.'

"Better than Chekhov"

He's celebrating finishing the last page of his novel...now he only has the other 468 to write.