Plan Maker Gifts

Though he had been retired for only three days, Marilyn was already growing tired of having Clyde around all day long.

"Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day!"

"We only got six days of funding."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

God's Subcontractors

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

Waiting for retirement.

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"I'd love to sit down and discuss my project with you some time. Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

The Best Laid Plans

Father Time Management

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'