Disaster Planner Gifts

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"So, Marvin, is it too late to build that back-up site in South Dakota?"

Tsunami Evac Route

'Ah, guys...do we have time to revise our worst case scenario?'

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

"I appreciate your help, but our emergency kit probably doesn't need enough LEGO to rebuild the entire house."

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

What can I get you, Mrs. Cohen? Two dozen cans of tuna, 15 bottled waters and a flashlight. Inflatable raft. Hurricane season beings again. I'll need a helipad delivered to my lawn.

"Client wants a quick POV on how this might affect the Q4 holiday campaign."

"Bernard's always prepared for asteroids"

'So you're sure this will cover against any unforeseen problem?'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"I can see our house from here."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'Relax. This is only a test.'

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

Zombie Fish

Disasters

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!"

"Do I look like I need rescuing?"

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.