Disaster Planner Gifts

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"So, Marvin, is it too late to build that back-up site in South Dakota?"

Tsunami Evac Route

'Ah, guys...do we have time to revise our worst case scenario?'

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

"I appreciate your help, but our emergency kit probably doesn't need enough LEGO to rebuild the entire house."

"Client wants a quick POV on how this might affect the Q4 holiday campaign."

"Bernard's always prepared for asteroids"

'So you're sure this will cover against any unforeseen problem?'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

'Relax. This is only a test.'

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

Zombie Fish

Disasters

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!"

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'Darling, I told you not to call me at work.'

'I'm taking no chances.'