Flood Survival Planner Gifts

'And now the last minute report just handed to me ... The dam has broken! Head for the hills!'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

Tsunami Evac Route

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

Zombie Fish

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

'My backup special...'

'The end is near.'

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

Saving up for a rainy day.

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"My cousin is lucky, he lives on the 14th floor. I'm sure he has a great view of the end of the world."

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

"Thank God we're insured"

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."

'I need five weekly lesson plan books. Not only do I tend to overplan, but I feel more comfortable with contingency plans.'

It's 11 p.m. do you know if your portfolio allocation will carry you through armageddon?

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

'This is a fine time to think we should have bought a houseboat!'

'You think your son's is bad? You should see Jimmy's tomb. Clothes everywhere! Oh, Laura, it's not easy raising the dead.'

"We've got water views again."

'I always carry my hammer, incase we're shipwrecked, and I need it to crack coconuts.'

"This primitive communication device is all that's left of what was once a thriving civilization."