Disaster Planners Gifts

Disaster Plan - Phase 1, Bark - Phase 2, Bite.

Escape the Earthquake $50.

"Thank God we're insured"

Natural Disasters

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"I can see our house from here."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Disasters

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!"

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

The missiles had failed....so it was down to Frank....and plan B.

Climate Change Contingency House

"If the pandemic wipes out the locusts, and the floods take care of the drought, then we may not have to take any action at all."

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

"On the other hand, voting to fund disaster relief would violate my conservative principles."

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

Extraterrestrial kicks rocks on his planet, which turn into meteors crashing to earth.

The final days of hair coloring

'I'm taking no chances.'