Disaster Prepper Gifts

How To Deal With The Upcoming Recession, Inflation, Depression, Ice Age, Greenhouse Effect, Energy Crunch, Population Explosion, and Complete End of the World in the Year 2000.

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Airplanes Wearing Gas Masks During Volcanic Eruption

Mother Nature In Charge In 2005.

"That's much scarier than the 'World Ends Tomorrow'."

Disasters

"We have to get ready for the hurricane and tornado seasons plus hot summer and its fires!"

I've given up trying to figure out what earth-shattering change is coming. If the end is near, I don't want to know. Nobody ever sees it coming. I think I never saw that coming is probably the most-used phrase in the English language. I just downloaded iPocalypse, the new iPhone app that uses GPS technology to point you to oncoming calamities. Bee-beep. Turn-around.

And this "meteor insurance," how would I collect? Dang, he's good!

The answer to 'What else could go wrong?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Natural Disasters

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

"I can see our house from here."

Zombie Problems

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

The End is Nigh

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Hurricane damage to trees

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!"

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.