Disaster Readiness Enthusiast Gifts

"No doubt you're asking yourself, what are hatches? And how the heck does one go about battening them down?"

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

Natural Disasters

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Lesser Known Active Volcanoes.

Hurricane damage to trees

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Emergency Underpants

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Spiro & Pusho painting a room.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

Climate Change Contingency House

News: Flash Floods

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

Lady leaving a crisis management office past an emergency panic button.

Natural Disaster This Way...

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

Alberta on fire

Bad Hobby Combination: The DIY Beehive/Mailbox

"Then we're all agreed. We'll repair the earthquake damage to every structure in town except for this one, which we'll leave as a reminder of the dangers of shoddy construction."

Where's the leak then?

Flood Rescues

Eric Cantor, Republican, Fiscal Conservative, Sociopath

Souvenir of Iceland

Man wanting to hitch a lift atop a floating house in a flood.

'-I told you you made that cat flap too small!'

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

'Trouble is he doesn't know the difference between lube and putty. . . Our windows fell out!'

Break Glass and Pull in the Event of Flaccid Pecs

'Quiet! I want to hear the weather report!'

"I learned my lesson after Katrina and the BP oil spill. Basically, it's be ready for just about anything."

Remember Rudy Park, my college roommate? He just tipped me off to breaking news. Some geological disaster across the bridge. Wow. You should totally go cover that. I'm glad you think so, 'cause it wouldn't really be responsible to take a 2-year-old to a geological disaster. Could you watch my boy for a few days? On second thought, that's a boring story. Nobody wants to hear about that. He's almost potty trained. Sorry, I have a ... work ... ish thing.