Disaster Response Aficionado Gifts

FEMA: 'You think he even knows it's empty?'

Natural Disasters

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

Volcanic ash...

Paramedics.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

Why dogs hate CPR.

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

"If the pandemic wipes out the locusts, and the floods take care of the drought, then we may not have to take any action at all."

'Andy, this is Doug. Looks like we're going to have to dip into the reserves earlier than we expected.'

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

Self-driving fire engine...quickly responds to an alarm.

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

'It's the plumber ... '

Natural Disaster This Way...

Give To Tsunami's Victims.

Continental Drift will end in disaster when the Arctic collides with the Antarctic and matter collides with anti-matter and explodes.

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Alberta on fire

'The gods are angry with the airlines.'

Where's the leak then?

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

'If only I believed in God, then I'd have somebody to blame...'

'It's oil spill. We must be near civilization.'

"No doubt you're asking yourself, what are hatches? And how the heck does one go about battening them down?"

"I'm sorry, all the emergency services are busy at the moment - please hold."

"I learned my lesson after Katrina and the BP oil spill. Basically, it's be ready for just about anything."

"I promised I'd come back for you Gladys, come hell or high water."

'And now the last minute report just handed to me ... The dam has broken! Head for the hills!'

'Later that day Sally was told that the earthquake measured 6.8 on the Richter scale.'

Pizza Alarm.

'Don't worry, the ground water here is clean.'

Remember Rudy Park, my college roommate? He just tipped me off to breaking news. Some geological disaster across the bridge. Wow. You should totally go cover that. I'm glad you think so, 'cause it wouldn't really be responsible to take a 2-year-old to a geological disaster. Could you watch my boy for a few days? On second thought, that's a boring story. Nobody wants to hear about that. He's almost potty trained. Sorry, I have a ... work ... ish thing.