Disaster Preparedness Enthusiasts Gifts

'Don't worry, the ground water here is clean.'

Natural Disasters

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Emergency Underpants

Hurricane damage to trees

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Spiro & Pusho painting a room.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

"Then we're all agreed. We'll repair the earthquake damage to every structure in town except for this one, which we'll leave as a reminder of the dangers of shoddy construction."

Bad Hobby Combination: The DIY Beehive/Mailbox

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

You Can't Escape Zombies in a Canoe

Flood Rescues

Alberta on fire

Where's the leak then?

Continental Drift will end in disaster when the Arctic collides with the Antarctic and matter collides with anti-matter and explodes.

'Worst chainsaw massacre I've ever seen.'

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Break Glass and Pull in the Event of Flaccid Pecs

'Trouble is he doesn't know the difference between lube and putty. . . Our windows fell out!'

'-I told you you made that cat flap too small!'

"No doubt you're asking yourself, what are hatches? And how the heck does one go about battening them down?"

'Quiet! I want to hear the weather report!'

"I learned my lesson after Katrina and the BP oil spill. Basically, it's be ready for just about anything."

'Think' Sign (nail facing wrong way)

'Later that day Sally was told that the earthquake measured 6.8 on the Richter scale.'

Remember Rudy Park, my college roommate? He just tipped me off to breaking news. Some geological disaster across the bridge. Wow. You should totally go cover that. I'm glad you think so, 'cause it wouldn't really be responsible to take a 2-year-old to a geological disaster. Could you watch my boy for a few days? On second thought, that's a boring story. Nobody wants to hear about that. He's almost potty trained. Sorry, I have a ... work ... ish thing.

Help on the Way