Disaster Readiness Fanatic Gifts

'Crisis Management Training'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

Natural Disasters

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Hurricane damage to trees

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Emergency Underpants

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Spiro & Pusho painting a room.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

Climate Change Contingency House

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

'I hear Oog gave up inventing.'

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

Lady leaving a crisis management office past an emergency panic button.

Bad Hobby Combination: The DIY Beehive/Mailbox

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

Continental Drift will end in disaster when the Arctic collides with the Antarctic and matter collides with anti-matter and explodes.

Where's the leak then?

Alberta on fire

Eric Cantor, Republican, Fiscal Conservative, Sociopath

Flood Rescues

'-I told you you made that cat flap too small!'

Break Glass and Pull in the Event of Flaccid Pecs

'Trouble is he doesn't know the difference between lube and putty. . . Our windows fell out!'

"No doubt you're asking yourself, what are hatches? And how the heck does one go about battening them down?"

'Quiet! I want to hear the weather report!'

"What do you mean, 'the flooding doesn't look too bad in this photo'?... I'm standing on top of the number 47 bus!"

Help on the Way