Disaster Readiness Fanatic T-Shirts

'Crisis Management Training'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

Natural Disasters

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Hurricane damage to trees

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Emergency Underpants

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Spiro & Pusho painting a room.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

Climate Change Contingency House

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

'I hear Oog gave up inventing.'

Lady leaving a crisis management office past an emergency panic button.

Where's the leak then?

Alberta on fire

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

Continental Drift will end in disaster when the Arctic collides with the Antarctic and matter collides with anti-matter and explodes.

Flood Rescues

Bad Hobby Combination: The DIY Beehive/Mailbox

"Then we're all agreed. We'll repair the earthquake damage to every structure in town except for this one, which we'll leave as a reminder of the dangers of shoddy construction."

Eric Cantor, Republican, Fiscal Conservative, Sociopath

Break Glass and Pull in the Event of Flaccid Pecs

'-I told you you made that cat flap too small!'

'Trouble is he doesn't know the difference between lube and putty. . . Our windows fell out!'

"No doubt you're asking yourself, what are hatches? And how the heck does one go about battening them down?"

'Quiet! I want to hear the weather report!'

"I learned my lesson after Katrina and the BP oil spill. Basically, it's be ready for just about anything."

Help on the Way

'Later that day Sally was told that the earthquake measured 6.8 on the Richter scale.'

Remember Rudy Park, my college roommate? He just tipped me off to breaking news. Some geological disaster across the bridge. Wow. You should totally go cover that. I'm glad you think so, 'cause it wouldn't really be responsible to take a 2-year-old to a geological disaster. Could you watch my boy for a few days? On second thought, that's a boring story. Nobody wants to hear about that. He's almost potty trained. Sorry, I have a ... work ... ish thing.