Disaster Preparedness Gifts

"No doubt you're asking yourself, what are hatches? And how the heck does one go about battening them down?"

"We have no funding for disasters that have not yet happened..."

Disaster Plan - Phase 1, Bark - Phase 2, Bite.

'Quiet! I want to hear the weather report!'

'Today the hurricane finally fizzled out when it reached states where 'the buffalo roam and the skies are not cloudy all day.''

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!"

"This is a fine time to remember you forgot to pay our homeowner's insurance!"

California's Problems

"Hello, I'd like to buy flood insurance."

"I can see our house from here."

"I begged him to get help."

Japan's Nuclear Tsunami

Runaway Train

The hard part will be staying afloat after the floods have gone

"Is it too late for me to go back to the old ladies bike basket?"

"Just be glad we had the boat on the roof!"

"I'm glad my agent persuaded me to get flood insurance and keep all my important documents together."

"Behind you!"

'You order a taxi, guv?'

Texas is drowning.

Fema helping.

Flood victims.

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

'HELP! I haven't been on television...'

FEMA: 'You think he even knows it's empty?'

"Well, they didn't send us the new flood barrier!"

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

Man goes to the beach to fill sandbags.

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

"So. . . you're expecting flooding then?"

"Then we're all agreed. We'll repair the earthquake damage to every structure in town except for this one, which we'll leave as a reminder of the dangers of shoddy construction."

"Can you stop, now, Lord...for a while?"

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

New Orleans awaits the next Hurricane.

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."