Disaster Readiness Gifts

Lady leaving a crisis management office past an emergency panic button.

Climate Change Contingency House

"I learned my lesson after Katrina and the BP oil spill. Basically, it's be ready for just about anything."

What can I get you, Mrs. Cohen? Two dozen cans of tuna, 15 bottled waters and a flashlight. Inflatable raft. Hurricane season beings again. I'll need a helipad delivered to my lawn.

"What do you mean, 'the flooding doesn't look too bad in this photo'?... I'm standing on top of the number 47 bus!"

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Natural Disasters

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Emergency exit into Space

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"I can see our house from here."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Small Government Is Here

"My God, now what?"

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Hurricane damage to trees

Disasters

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!"

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

How to survive the coming crash.

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"On the other hand, voting to fund disaster relief would violate my conservative principles."