Practice Master Gifts

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"How should we divide the teams?"

"Eat me"

"I told you a firecracker behind his back didn't seem like a good idea!"

Swimming Prankster

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

"And this all happened in the last week..."

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

'It's the next big thing, but I can't fit it through the door.'

"Ready...."

"By the way, about your presentation...Management has made a surprise visit."

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

Women

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

Road work next 15 years.

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

A knowledge of where the fish are likely to be located can save hours of frustration.

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

'Joke emporium' 'Next prankster'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

'Well done! I've never heard anyone slip from jargon into gibberish and out again with such ease!'