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'Their daughter plays the violin.'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"How should we divide the teams?"

"Eat me"

"I told you a firecracker behind his back didn't seem like a good idea!"

Swimming Prankster

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

"And this all happened in the last week..."

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

"Ready...."

"By the way, about your presentation...Management has made a surprise visit."

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Women

'It's the next big thing, but I can't fit it through the door.'

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

Road work next 15 years.

A knowledge of where the fish are likely to be located can save hours of frustration.

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

'I like to spend my train journeys reading fiction.' (He looks at Rail Timetable. Sign says 'Delays expected'.)

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'Joke emporium' 'Next prankster'

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

'Well done! I've never heard anyone slip from jargon into gibberish and out again with such ease!'