Potting Shed Philosopher Gifts

'This is where my dad goes to seed.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

You can't get what up

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

The Cactus Reader

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

Grow damn you!

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

It MUST be Valentines Day!

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

Stop and Smell the Roses

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

"Who's God?"

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

"Ha! You mean you've only caught one fish all day?!"

"Hey boss, what's the store motto this week; 'the customer's always right' or 'you can't please everyone?'"

I see Jerry's had a heart attack!

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'