Potting Shed Philosopher Pillows

'This is where my dad goes to seed.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

You can't get what up

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

The Cactus Reader

Grow damn you!

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

It MUST be Valentines Day!

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

Stop and Smell the Roses

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

"Who's God?"

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets.

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'

"Ha! You mean you've only caught one fish all day?!"