Postal Systems Gifts

'I have a complaint about one of your window clerks.'

Insufficient Postage: Return to Sender.

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'Grrrr....'

HS2

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

"Don't feel bad, my mail server goes down sometimes, too."

"I have to be honest. I would really miss it if there were no more Saturday mail!"

You've Got Mail

Postman Drops Off Post In Medical Building.

"There's the mailman!"

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

'He's expecting a letter from the dog biscuits sweepstakes.'

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

'He makes the deliveries other mailmen are afraid to make.'

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

"It's okay, honey. It's only a mailman."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

Envelopes.

U. S. MAIL, 'Daddy's home!'

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

Royal Mail Privatisation

'We'll email the new offer just to make sure you get it.'

'I've got an epistle to the Corinthians, ten shekels postage due.'

Clerk: 'They recalled the series of Famous Lawyer stamps... people were spitting on the wrong side.'

Postman delivering post

You've Got Mail

'Is there any way you can deliver everything to my e-mail account for now on?'

'Can you walk me through this 'snail mail' stuff?'