Policeman Gifts

"So the goverments intent of stamping out rural crime.."

'Actually, I wanted you to touch your own nose.'

"Anything you say can be used in a very exciting new true-crime podcast we're working on."

It was the break they had been waiting for: prints left behind at the scene of the crime.

'This is a textbook case of homicide.'

'Okay, this guy isn't talking. You can kill the headlights Sam.'

'But, officer, I AM wearing a seat belt.'

Sherlock Holmes peering through giant magnifying glass.

"Sometimes I can't remember if I'm good cop or bad cop."

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Policeman Falling Off Bicycle

"When I said dig up everything on the former owners, I meant at the library."

Superintendent on Night Patrol in Whitechapel Slums

'You've taken a sobriety test before.'

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

'I think we have a possible case of death by overdose.'

'How do you expect me to concentrate when you're reading me my rights?'

"Well Sarge, this looks like one of your classic open and shut cases."

The day the government stepped in to ensure our water was safe.

PC World - Policemen's shop

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

"The vasectomy clinic? Go past the barbers, left at the scissor factory, cut through the bollards and it's opposite the sewing machine shop."

"This gold star is for being a good cop and...hey you! Don't turn around! You have been a very bad cop!"

'You can't arrest me -- I gave my power of attorney to another guy!'

The Elliot Ness monster.

A catch-22, he thought. Not in the traditional sense, but in this job you learn to go with your gut. Even if your gut's an idiot.

The Smoking Inn.

"I think he must have had a death wish"

'You're not gonna like the answer....'

'We should rejoice that within a vibrant drug culture every young adult knows how to use a tourniquet.'

Which one is Mr Big?

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

The Police - 1829

'So, still won't talk eh?'