Policewoman Gifts

"Sarge, the computer won't let me retrieve the criminal files."

Hair Spray / CS Gas.

"Have you noticed that little old ladies seem to be getting younger"

"I gotta hand it to you folks... You sure know all the right questions to ask!"

"It's his first arrest."

Cops on Public Transport.

We're understaffed so I'm playing both good cop and bad cop.

'Tell me the truth - Does this bullet-proof vest make me look fat?'

Policeman painting vandals with 'anti-vandal paint' instead of painting the walls.

"I thought we agreed I was the bad cop this week."

Policeman receiving an award of a truncheon

"be embarrassed,modom-lots of people have feet your size..."

'You have to do SOMETHING about it, or people will say you're soft on crime.'

Nick nick.

'I used to love this job. You could get away with anything.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

hard-boiled egg...

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"