Policewoman Gifts

Hair Spray / CS Gas.

"Have you noticed that little old ladies seem to be getting younger"

"I gotta hand it to you folks... You sure know all the right questions to ask!"

"It's his first arrest."

Cops on Public Transport.

We're understaffed so I'm playing both good cop and bad cop.

'Tell me the truth - Does this bullet-proof vest make me look fat?'

Policeman painting vandals with 'anti-vandal paint' instead of painting the walls.

"I thought we agreed I was the bad cop this week."

Policeman receiving an award of a truncheon

"be embarrassed,modom-lots of people have feet your size..."

'You have to do SOMETHING about it, or people will say you're soft on crime.'

Nick nick.

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

hard-boiled egg...

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'