Police Officers Gifts

"Time after time it's the same thing: you hear a knock—you open the door—and nobody's there!"

"To be frank, officer, my parents never set boundaries."

'Let me get this straight... You say you had no steering or brakes, and your car just ran into the wall on its own?'

' Murder?!..Thank goodness.For one awful moment there,I thought you said there'd been a merger ! '

'I've been grilling him for hours and he hasn't even started to sizzle!'

Speed camera: 'Police fund-raiser, please increase your speed now.'

"Another alleged meeting of the Women's Institute?"

'There's not enough horses for all the new recruits so some of you will be using pogo sticks.'

'We'll ask you one more time. What did you do with the body?'

'Of course he was in your blind spot. Everything not on your android is in your blind spot.'

'I want you to run back to town and bring the biggest box of croutons you can find!'

"You have the right to remain silent – but, it would be helpful to know what you think."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cops at domestic scene with the Hickenloopers.

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

Police corruption

Boy found drinking by a policeman

'Do you know what speed you were doing Sir? Could I see your tax and insurance, and is all this stuff in the back yours?'

'It's ok officer the tyres are only flat at the bottom!'

Sartorial profiling: 'Your hair is a mess, your shoes are badly scuffed, your shirt is hanging out...what are you trying to pull?'

'We're grilling the suspect now, captain.'

"So you shot this black guy because his tail light was broken? That's OK, Sergeant, but what about this one?"

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

42 Day Detention Vote - 'OK! That's unanimous then - it'll become official school policy.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

Excessive Paperwork

"I didn't say, 'Simon says.'"

'Jones, I have asked this officer to arrest you on the grounds that you are a serial time killer.'

Police car bumper sticker: 'Honk if you want a traffic ticket'.

Policeman searching internet for young, black criminal.

Police arresting woman. Man slumped lifeless in background - 'But he was snoring officer!'

Cops' Right to Beat You in Private Shall Not Be Infringed

You Look Like a Million

Coronavirus ignoring borders