Police Officers Gifts

"Time after time it's the same thing: you hear a knock—you open the door—and nobody's there!"

"To be frank, officer, my parents never set boundaries."

'Let me get this straight... You say you had no steering or brakes, and your car just ran into the wall on its own?'

' Murder?!..Thank goodness.For one awful moment there,I thought you said there'd been a merger ! '

'I've been grilling him for hours and he hasn't even started to sizzle!'

Speed camera: 'Police fund-raiser, please increase your speed now.'

'There's not enough horses for all the new recruits so some of you will be using pogo sticks.'

"Another alleged meeting of the Women's Institute?"

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

"You have the right to remain silent – but, it would be helpful to know what you think."

Cops at domestic scene with the Hickenloopers.

'I want you to run back to town and bring the biggest box of croutons you can find!'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'Of course he was in your blind spot. Everything not on your android is in your blind spot.'

'We'll ask you one more time. What did you do with the body?'

"I didn't say, 'Simon says.'"

"So you shot this black guy because his tail light was broken? That's OK, Sergeant, but what about this one?"

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

Sartorial profiling: 'Your hair is a mess, your shoes are badly scuffed, your shirt is hanging out...what are you trying to pull?'

Boy found drinking by a policeman

Police corruption

42 Day Detention Vote - 'OK! That's unanimous then - it'll become official school policy.'

'Do you know what speed you were doing Sir? Could I see your tax and insurance, and is all this stuff in the back yours?'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

Police arresting woman. Man slumped lifeless in background - 'But he was snoring officer!'

Police car bumper sticker: 'Honk if you want a traffic ticket'.

'Jones, I have asked this officer to arrest you on the grounds that you are a serial time killer.'

'We're grilling the suspect now, captain.'

Excessive Paperwork

Policeman searching internet for young, black criminal.

'It's ok officer the tyres are only flat at the bottom!'

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"Looks like an inside job."

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"The perp walks are killing us."