Law Enforcement Officer Gifts

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."

'Does your dog bite?' 'Oh, please, please, please, boss, let me handle this one!'

"I take it this is your first day as a scene of crimes officer?"

"Surveillance camera 743 shows you disabling surveillance camera 742."

When Engineers Crack.

'All they took was my snowblower.'

'I'm writing you a ticket because your belt isn't buckled.'

'Hello, Mr. Thomas! We noticed you've recently been mugged! Hey, there's no better time than now to consider purchasing our identity theft protection insurance!...'

'Stopped a shoplifter today. Caught him red-handed.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'Excuse me, Officer. But I believe the ban is on hand-held cell phones.'

Driverless cars were presenting new policing challenges...

Perpetrator of a daring daylight illegal electronic transfer of funds fleeing the scene of the crime.

'Before you get upset - maybe he's selling tickets for something.'

Knife Crime Data Collection - 'How many people have you stabbed this week?'

"We have ways of making you talk."

'Though you didn't actually attack the victim, your endlessly droning on about technical stuff did bore him to death.'

"In all of my years investigating digital crime,this is the worst case of identity theft I've ever encountered!"

'Right son...you're knicked!'

'Faster than the average professional athlete goes bankrupt.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'When asked to show some identification,the policemen produced their badgers.'

"Don't worry, boss—we whacked your skis."

'There! That should make sure they don't do it again.'

'I'm not writing him out a ticket...you do it!'

Noah the neighbor

"'Alleged,' please, 'alleged.'"

Black and White: Segregation,

"I don't need to write it down, boss, I'm wearing a wire."

'I don't make the rules, sir. I'm just grateful for those who do.'

'Sorry, pal. Illiteracy is no excuse for breaking the law.'

Smart drug pharmacy was vigilant about upholding health privacy laws.'

'Twenty-two circus clowns without seatbelts. Well, I just made my quota for the month!'

School Recycling Area

'I pulled you over because you were driving suspiciously.'