Law Officer Gifts

'We have ways of making you talk!'

Trial by Media

The Anti-Agent

Hate Platforms

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Police Feline Unit

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

America, are we learning anything?

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

hard-boiled egg...

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.