Judicial Officer Gifts

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

"But I might get attacked by someone on a tagging order."

"The voice of faultless reasoning, this is she."

Trial by Media

"Good boy."

Hate Platforms

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

The Anti-Agent

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

America, are we learning anything?

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

The Circular Logic of Fascism

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

I love Lawyers

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'Court's in recess!'

"You call this a constitution?"

Barristers

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Now that's a win."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.