Judge Gifts

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse." "I didn't know that, either..."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

"You can't plead cute."

"What are you - some kind of justice freak?"

'Don't spread it around, but on the really tough ones, I just go with 'eenie, meenie, minie, moe.''

'This is not the kind of 'out of court settlement' I had in mind.'

"How did this case ever get so far?"

"Could my client be innocent? Probably not. My point is it's interesting to think about."

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Your Honor, the defense contends its client could never get a fair trial in this court."

"Are you telling me that just because something is against the law, that makes it illegal?"

"It's what I do."

"The court is sorry that it raised its voice."

"Objection, leading the witness."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"Come now, give the system a chance."

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to call to the stand an unequaled expert witness of exceptional excellence. Put your hands together. Give it up..."

"No, I can't explain it. He was alive when I buried him."

'My dog ate my opinion.'

"My client would like to do his community service in the financial community."

"I killed him in self-defense. I'm not good at accepting criticism."

"I won't lie to you.Chopin's 'Funeral March' is a bad sign."

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

"The Court will allow the cape but will draw the line at the wind machine."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

'In the future, let's go with 'the court is now in session' rather than 'let's get ready to rumble'.'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Yes, he cut paper, but rock hit him first - that make my client a victim."

"In the interest of streamlining the judicial process, we'll skip the evidence and go directly to sentencing."

"At first I was the aggressor but as he got the upper hand it became clear I was the victim."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

'Well, well! It's the Joneses and their neighbors, who I see are still managing to keep up with them'

"Let me give you a lesson in American history: James Madison never intended the Bill of Rights to protect riffraff like you."