Jam Judge Gifts

Jam Judging: Bernie and Hillary

Trial by Media

"Good boy."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

I love Lawyers

'Court's in recess!'

"You call this a constitution?"

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Barristers

That party went well.

"Now that's a win."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"