Judgment Juggler Gifts

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We have an acronym!"

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

That party went well.

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

A Bloody Butcher

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"It's a swearbox."

Stop and Birch

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.