Justice Jugglers Gifts

Advertising monster making attorneys add things to their specialisation 'serum'

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

'We ask the court to take into account that all my client's counterfeit bills were printed on recycled paper.'

'Gee whiz, I don't know why I confessed to a crime I didn't commit. Maybe so I'd have an alibi for the one I did do.'

'Do you swear to tell the truth even though you'd be crazy not to lie?'

Creative Lawyers: Our Rates - Justice $300 per hour/Appearance of Justice $1000 per hour.

Children's Parties

That party went well.

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

The Jose Padilla Experience

Stop and Birch

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

"Life After a Circus Bankruptcy."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

The boss and her baby

'Tragically, Mr. Cornwell was unable to afford a personal ethicist.'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

'Whatever happens, we mustn't let life get on top of us!'

"I feel a lot of societal pressure to be happy."

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

Swiss army justice.

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'