Judgement Juggler Gifts

That party went well.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"We have an acronym!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

"Bed Spread"

A Bloody Butcher

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"It's a swearbox."

Stop and Birch

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'I was headhunted.'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

Santas Key Deliverables.

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

'I know it's a lot of money but we can't avoid it any longer.'

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

'The person you are trying to reach has moved to another desk and has left no forwarding extension.'

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

"This year I'm not asking for a raise...I'm going for a change in job title..."