Jurisdiction Juggler Gifts

'I'm sorry, Sonny. But, the FBI doesn't look for missing doggies... Even if you do think he might've crossed the state line.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

That party went well.

Stop and Birch

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

'The great thing about string theory is that it ties up quite a few loose ends.'

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

'I don't understand why you don't want to take your daily medication.'

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

Swiss army justice.

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

"Is this your joke of an idea?"

"These new regulations will fundamentally change the way we get around them."

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

ESSENTIALS for those who are OVER 50 AND OUT OF WORK

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

'Attack!'

'I know your client wants a jury trial, but we can't come up with a jury. People are too busy.'

'So many loopholes, so little time.'

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

"She's always got her nose in a book."