Delegation Juggler Gifts

'My projects are behind schedule because I'm too busy. . . so I'm transferring them to you instead. . . Why are your projects behind schedule?!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

Golfing Boss

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

God's Subcontractors

That party went well.

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

Stop and Birch

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

'Ah, Williams, are you familiar with the term ‘Poisoned Chalice'?'

'Sometimes I wonder what I's do without you!'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'I start my day by making a list of everything I need to do . . . and who I can get to do it for me.'

NHS targets.

"I learned early, if at first you don't succeed, delegate."

"I'm going to need your room cleaned by end-of-day."

'You won't need a desk since you'll be delegating everything.'

'In... out... in... out... in... out... in...?!'

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

"Find out who's on vacation and then add this stuff to the workload on his desk."

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

'Ed here has some sort of problem with his membership on the visitation committee, Reverend.'

"You need to put on some weight if you want to keep your job!"

Too early to begin working on/Too late to do anything about.

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

"My management style is to hire good employees and then get out of the way while they work."

Swiss army justice.

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"