Conflict Juggler Gifts

'Attack!'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Stop and Birch

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

Education Guidance

Overworked

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

The Communicator

Business cartoon showing a stressed business woman who has three urgent messages on her office door.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

Translating . . . poetry.

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

'Take a message...'

"What did I tell you about destroying Mommy's inner balance?"

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

"You've been chosen to represent our establishment at 'Carrers day'. You're always careering from one crisis to the next"

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

Let's merge and cut out the middle man.