Conflict Juggler Gifts

'Attack!'

Before I can stop and smell the roses, I need time to stop and plant the @#$% roses.

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Stop and Birch

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

Overworked

The Communicator

Education Guidance

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

Business cartoon showing a stressed business woman who has three urgent messages on her office door.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

Translating . . . poetry.

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

Swiss army justice.

Sorry, sir, but today is Tuesday, and I never did get the hang of Tuesdays.

"What did I tell you about destroying Mommy's inner balance?"

"Is this your joke of an idea?"

'Take a message...'

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One ge

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

"You've been chosen to represent our establishment at 'Carrers day'. You're always careering from one crisis to the next"

Let's merge and cut out the middle man.